So it goes..

I found our praying mantis lying pitifully on the pavement next to a small puddle of spit. His guts were coming out of his butt and his eye was popped out. He was reaching up with his front little legs asking for help. I put him in the garden next to a little glass mushroom and covered him with mulch. He kept trying to grab at me and he watched me with his good eye. Then he just rested.

There is death going on outside.

I am sorry your death was not more valiant, mantis.

I am bleeding from every orifice right now. My ears are bleeding thoughts, my mouth is bleeding word vomit, my eyes are bleeding apathy, and my vagina is actually bleeding. So, there you go.

I hate you, starbucks. I hate every fucking thing about you. That is why I am leaving you and I am finding other means of wealth. I'm sorry it has to be this way, but, if I had to picture myself spending more than one more year in your fake, woody interior, I'm pretty sure I'd kill myself. I am pretty damn sure.

Last night I had a dream I was pregnant. It was the most horrifying, disgusting thing I've ever dreamt about. So here's a picture of it!