"I wonder how many beards there are in this room at this exact moment. NO wait....this whole house."
"I hope this isn't an 'everyone stands outside' party because it's really cold and my outfit which took me 20 minutes to pick out isn't 'standing outside' proof."
"Where is the couch so I can sit in a corner and invisibly judge everyone all night?"
"This beer is disgusting."
"I wonder if she actually likes that dress aesthetically or if it's an ironic thing? Is this whole party an ironic thing?"
"Ohh, please don't talk to me...yes I know I'm standing in this circle, yes I know my friend knows all of you, but I just don't have the energy to put my party mask on right now."
And, it was only after I had hastily downed the first half of my second crappy beer, observed the people standing around me and looked back down at my ironic Burt Reynolds t-shirt and poop colored cardigan sweater that I realized that I was just like EVERYONE ELSE.
I then sighed a sigh of disappointment and shame and went back to staring at my beer.
It's no goddamn use.
I am a hypocrite, one whom finds herself in awkward situations and as a barrier, mentally talks shit about everyone else. But I am the same goddamn thing anyways. I'm just really good at wearing my mask.
It is a wonder, sometimes to me, that anyone would like me in the first place.
this is how I knew:
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you just pretty much summed up every party experience I've ever had, and also did a pretty good job of psychoanalyzing everyone I know.
ReplyDeletekind of ironic and funny aint it, that we're socially awkward and insecure and at the same time our only way of feeling comfortable in crowds is by making fun of other people in our heads for their social awkwardness and insecurity. human beings are so fucking critical and weird.
I KNOW. i hate it and love it.
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