I didn't ask to be here, you know. Being a human being wasn't some huge desire for me..in fact, I'd say it was a rather involuntary thing. I didn't go up to some great decider and get down on my hands and knees and say "Oh, please please please let me be on earth and live with the hairless two-legged creatures there!" They didn't tell me, "Well, I'll let you be a human being but only if you're willing to put up with the bullshit and the unfairness that life brings! Sure, there will be some really nice things mixed in there..but for the most part it's going to be painful and hard as hell!" and I didn't say, "Oh yes! I would love to do that!" I never agreed to any of this or signed any contract. Let me get a hold of my lawyer, Life, because I believe you owe me some reparations. This involuntary act of living should be paved with glitter and gold and everything should be fucking handed to us because we did not ask to be here in the first goddamn place.




April fired me.
I hope her asshole stops working and her eyes fall out.